Secondhand dreams

Colliding waves, whirling winds, a warm fireplace and a cold icicle with a touch of cruelty and capriciousness enfolded in a steady shell. Emitting empathy and arrogance with a repelling effect

Deathly Hallows

Slowly, very slowly, he sat up, an as he did so he felt more alive, and more aware of his own living body than ever before. His breath came slow and deep, and his mouth and throat were completely dry, but so were his eyes.
He stood up. His heart was leaping against his ribs like a frantic bird. Perhaps it knew it had little time left, perhaps it was determined to fulfill a lifetime’s beats before the end. Every second he breathed, the smell of the grass, the cool air on his face, was so precious: to think that people had years and years, time to waste, so much time it dragged, and he was clinging to each second. 

It’s rather scary actually.. Not something to be looking for to.Looking at the night sky, thinking that, this may be the last time you’re seeing stars. Feeling the crisp night air in your lungs. Smoking one more cigarette, enjoying the scenery. Feeling that you can’t go on, yet you must. I think I lost something that night. Something valuable.

This guy saved me from boring life♥

- frailty -

I wanted to write about fears in general tonight, but I got distracted by something else, so I’m not gonna do that. Instead I’m just gonna look into some of my own fears and my stance towards things other people think scary.

For instance, I love listening to creepy music while walking out in the dark. There’s something really mesmerizing about it. And dark alleys are almost too hard to resist.

I’m always up to a good horror/thriller movie/game, preferably when I’m alone. 

I’m not really scared about life-threatening situations either or death.


Now what I do fear

Is aging. I’m just not ready to face growing old yet. I’m so concerned in keeping this outer shell beautiful that I fear what is left when age decays it.

I know how stupid and shallow that sounds, but that’s just the case now. Maybe not forever, but at least now.

There is another great fear but I don’t feel like sharing it with all the wide world. If you wanna know (which I doubt) you can always ask

Can’t you?

Wow this is probably the lamest post ever! Don’t care!

Got nothing to do with anything!


Wrote a song today (or actually finished it)
It turned out quite okay
Tomorrow to the recording studio


A tired fairy tale lays it’s head
Drinking from your fountain
And takes to bed

It says: “See you in the morning”
Light on the window
Someone else’s window

The dream awakes 
Repeats mistakes
A flash of spite a moment too late
There’re pretty red flowers all around
A blind alert
With faint avert
Update the data and press convert
Why am I not a part of this clock

And if I only could 
I would carry
Carry you under my heart

Where do we go from here
Am I someone else now
Certainties disappear

I saw a shade today
Gave me a ticket
It’s the shape of my sun setting down
It’s the shape of a son

The dreams begins again
I turn slight less humane
The untold memory fakes inside of me
Every time it matters
I have lost all my answers
All the pretty red flowers are on me
Make believe

And if I only could
I would carry
Carry you under my heart
And if I only could deceive myself
I would carry
Carry you under my heart

How could I 
I’m not the same
I’m not what you said
I’m not what I make believe

And if I only could
I would carry
Carry you under my heart 


Man is a natural disaster at it’s best

Those lenses are supposed to be purple…

Those lenses are supposed to be purple…

A cynic is an idealist whom the world has battered and bruised



Why do I have this need to “prove my worth” to other people?
Why do I feel this urge to have other, unknown, people witness the me that feels itself pretty?
Why do I (every day that I think I look great), have the need to show myself off to other people?

Why do I need other people’s judgments to know whether I am gorgeous or not?
Isn’t it enough to just appreciate my own beauty when I see it myself?

What’s the answer to this symptom?


Goodbye to yesterday
To dreams
The sleep is a restless lion
Devouring dreams
Until only breath remains
Shattering in the wind like a house of cards
Awakening of awareness
Limbo of soul
Like Death’s everlasting, unyielding candle
I burn with a flame so cold it chills the heart
I’m a lion
A tamed beast
The night lingers on
Banishing the sun
I feel shadows everywhere
Welcoming me